Teachers..Shoes..and Some Other Shit...

Kumar and me at Gokul Chat

  Today I have to address something that everyone in Mysore and the yoga cult all over the world seems to ignore.  I will start off by saying that I have so much love and respect for my teachers now and when I  began Ashtanga yoga over 3 years ago.  They will always be my teachers in some form no matter what.  I have a love for them that is unconditional.  If you asked me even a few months ago who my yoga teachers were I would say their names proudly.   This has however changed in my recent trip to India but it's not the only thing that has changed.  Yoga in Mysore and all over the world has changed.  Yoga has become about money and numbers.  Yoga institutes and studios everywhere are turning out yoga teachers like a child spewing vomit after a bad meal at an unfathomable rate and people are getting hurt.

The future of India...So beautiful

  When I was here in 2010 I saw with my own eyes knees crack and pop when practitioners were being adjusted during yoga practice.  I would see people on crutches and ask..."What happened?...did you get hit by a rickshaw?..." They would say..."no... supta padangusthasana...teacher stood on my thigh..but it was my fault..."  I would even dismiss it because my teachers know everything and you don't question lineage.  My last week here in 2010 I tore a hamstring in Utthita hasta padangustasana...I wouldn't say no to an assist because I do what I'm told by my teacher.  I also starved myself to the point of being hospitalized when I arrived home because I was told on a daily basis I was too fat ... and like a hungry kid at McDonalds with a million dollar gift card I ate up everything my teacher said like he was the living Christ...I take responsibility for that fully...  All of this in yoga...All of this in the "main shala"...All of this from an esteemed yoga teacher...  All of this in Mysore, India...The home of Ashtanga yoga...and...All of this is still going on...right now....here in Mysore, India.  In 2013 ...teachers are driving expensive cars and building multi million dollar homes... forgetting where they came from and what their guru worked so hard to build from a couple rupees.  I ask...What would Krishnamachiria do about all this?...Maybe he would do the same thing...I ask is this ok?... They are just human... don't we all want nice things?  Yes...we do but at what cost.  People getting hurt...The teacher should be grateful...I don't see grateful... I see greed, over confidence, and no restraint of the monster rearing it's head... I see students coming into Mysore and getting hurt...bones broken...ligaments torn... and hearts ripped out while the business of yoga replaces the space where the heart of yoga once rested.   Is this progress or is this the beginning of the end?...

Picture by my friend Shi..taking a picture of the kids..

  I feel so stupid when I think about it because I acted the exact same way a lot of these people are acting now.  My teacher would adjust me three or four times in a class and it would be all I would talk about until I went to bed at night.  I didn't even know how it sounded.... I just wanted to throw my blessing at anyone I came into contact with... and I did.  I hear it now from the "main shala" people and I think..."Fuck me to hell...I sounded like that"... It's a kind of worship I'm not cool with now but I did it then.  I think that's why it's so hard to listen to.  It's like looking in the mirror and seeing those white and pink stretch marks across your belly even though the weight is gone and your stomach is flat...It's a reminder of the days when you followed blindly the unawarness that kept you in the dark but all you needed was a little light to show you the way into your own reality and not what everyone else was trying to make you become... so even though I'm ok with the way I am now... the sound of such worship is like splinters of wood under my eyelids...It makes me want to shake the shit out of the old me and the present them... but it will change nothing...It's a journey going both ways to the same place we're just wearing different shoes...I truly believe yoga is the foundation...the feet that carry you on your path...the teacher is the shoe...I like flip flops as do a lot of people..but others like fine and expensive material...and that's ok.  We all have feet and we all try different pairs of shoes on our path...Sometimes we even take the shoes off for a little while to feel the shit squish between our toes...but that path keeps on unwinding day by day and our feet keep walking whether they're covered in nice material or bare to the sole...It's the way it has always been, is now, and will be for eternity.

Baby chicks and mom

  For me on my path I have chosen to step away from my old fancy shoes made of fine material.  I may wear them again but for right now they just rub blisters on my brain...I have found comfort in a nice pair of sandals that get the job done and are easy on my feet.  I also find myself going bare from time to time and it feels nice.  My teachers will always be my teachers and when I come to the end of my path on this road no matter how long I'm hoping to have a box full of worn out shoes. Teachers are the people, places, animals, and experiences on my path...So...I say this...Vande Gurunam Mother India...Vande Gurunam Legs the dog from PFA, Vande Gurunam the beautiful faces in the slums of Gokulam...Vande Gurunam to the animals, homeless, sick and crippled on the street...Vande Gurunam to the unknown present and to the unknown future...May my feet be steady in their path and may there be light in my every step....Gurubyo Namaha...Parama Rishibyo Namaha...Bless all that are and all that will forever be...Amen.

Young lady collecting her daily water